Yes, the outsider is me, no wonder!
I may be not old enough (I mean by thoughts or whatsoever people call).
I may be not interested (well, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t - it’s really up to the subject at that point).
I may be a good listener.
I may be a non-responsive person.
Whatever. It’s me, Shieri. This is who I am.
People around me are just so (which word should I pick?) , well, into this situation right now. I know I should too, but I just don’t see any point of being so as whatever happens, it will not improve anything quite yet, or rather suddenly. All I can think of is “Let it be”.
What would you do when you were not at all interested in the “talks of the town”, and you were among them at the time? Let me tell you. All I did today were just staring at something, here and there, listening to what they were talking about, wondering when the clock was going to hit “1pm”. It worked at some point, like, you know, I got to listen to something new someone just popped up, someone’s point of view towards “whatever” and blah blah.
I didn’t mean I don’t like them or anything. They all are, gosh, so very nice people. But obviously, I’m just not one of them, I can’t be and I won’t be. I sort of felt uncomfortable sometimes that I just finished eating as soon as possible and spilt one of the excuses out to be able to leave the table politely, or should I say “with manners?”, haha. This part wasn’t at all “Shieri”.
OK, time for bed. That’s it for now. I wonder how long I will feel I am the outsider. I guess forever. Haha.
Night Night!
